Why I Chose a Midwife

I often have people ask me why I chose a midwife over the traditional choice of an OB. For me I never saw a choice, I always knew I would prefer a midwife. In my area OBs run the show, midwives do not have hospital privileges in my town. The OB offices almost have a post office feel.  You take a number and sit down, then wait, fill out paper work, then wait, pee in a cup, then wait, you are transferred to a sterile room where you sit on paper and wait, wait, wait. The doctor finally arrives and must glance at your chart to remember your name. He talks to you while looking at his notes or writing more notes down, sometimes he takes out a tape recorder and talks about you in the third person. He orders more tests, gives you a lecture on eating healthy and then sends you to the front desk where they take your co-pay and make you another appointment. Sound familiar? 

Before we chose a midwife I had gone through several OB practices and infertility doctors searching for answers but they were all the same. Cold, often uncaring, and following procedure. I felt less human and more robotic, part of a system or well oiled machine. With our twins we had no choice, we were forced into a antibacterial NICU with several doctors and nurses who loved to play the doomsday game while calling me a "hippie" for trying to refuse tests, immunizations or opt for breast milk over formula. I am thankful that my children are alive today, I recognize that they needed medical intervention but I also see that in many ways I was right and they were wrong. I know this because when they finally came home and I took over they thrived and were no longer "medically fragile".

With our last baby, River, and this new rainbow I wanted something different. I wanted fewer tests and more conversation. I wanted compassion, love and empathy. I wanted birth, not a drug induced coma. I wanted a WOMAN who had faced birth head on as a warrior mother. A woman who would look at me in labor and say, "I know..." and I would feel that she really did know. I wanted a person, not a doctor. 

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I do not take anything of this nature lightly, I dove head first into research about midwifes, different certifications, homebirth v. birth center birth and safety. My poor husband was subject to books and articles, movies and Internet print outs. Weeks and weeks of research led me to a list of over 20 questions to ask a midwife. Then I began my phone interviews. I called seven different women, asked them my questions and tried to get a vibe for their personalities. Kelly was one of the last midwives I interviewed. I felt us "click" over the phone and made an appointment to meet her in person. As soon as I met her I felt at ease, she was calm and so at peace. I have often said that I see her as the color yellow, cheery and bright and full of love. 

My appointments were typically an hour long, most of it was conversation. We did the occasional test like checking for protein or sugar in the urine, listening to the heartbeat and the traditional blood test in the first trimester. She encouraged me to research the other tests and was fine with me declining ones I felt were unnecessary like the genetics test. She was open to alternative testing, when it came time for me to test for gestational diabetes she was fine with me testing at home over four days instead of the typical orange drink test. I always felt supported, that she heard me and she was doing what was best for me and baby.

When I hear about the trials some of my pregnant friends are experiencing such as unnecessary tests, trouble declining tests or medications, doctors who are pushy about induction or pitocin or c-sections it makes me truly sad. Our nation is doing our women a disservice by making choices based on liability concerns. When the question becomes, "How can this come back to haunt me?" instead of "Is this in the best interest of the mother and child?" we should be frightened. 

My pregnancy is not an illness, my birth is not an emergency situation. I am young, I have low blood pressure, I do not have gestational diabetes or preeclampsia so why would I go somewhere that sick people go? If you ask me why I chose a midwife the answer is simple, because I trust my body and so does she. 

If any of my readers are thinking about hiring a midwife, here is my list of 21 questions!
1. What services do you offer?
2. What are the prices for your services and how do you work payments?
3. Do you have a billing service to deal with my insurance?
4. How do you make sure that the full placenta is passed to avoid a hemorrhage?
5. What techniques do you recommend in labor to cope with pain management?
6. How do you feel about delayed cord clamping?
7. What are your "red flags" for transferring to the hospital?
8. If we transfer will you come with us and how is that handled?
9. What if our baby is breached?
10. What are your birth stats, how many mothers have transferred, how many deaths (if any), and how many of your clients end up with c-sections?
11. Are you currently certified as a midwife and by what organization?
12. What life saving measures are you currently certified in?
13. Do you participate in formal peer review with other midwives?
14. How many births have you attended?
15. If you are sick or otherwise unavailable during my labor, who will attend to me?
16. How many clients do you take each month?
17. How familiar are you with procedures in the hospital?
18. How long are you willing to wait for a baby in a bad position to change positions before labeling the pregnancy high risk?
19. What percentage of your clients tear and how do you try to prevent tearing?
20. What equipment do you normally bring to the birth (birthing stool? blow-up pool? oxygen? ambu-bag? pitocin shot?)
21. What do you normally do while I am in labor?

A huge thank you to Kelly, our amazing midwife, my ray of sunshine. We cannot wait to have you catch our little rainbow!