Adventures in Breastfeeding

When I was pregnant with C I was looking forward to breastfeeding, I missed out on that relationship with my twins. After months of fighting an uphill battle with the E&G I gave in to donated milk and gave up on trying to get medically fragile preemies to latch to a breast that would not make enough milk. Within seconds of being born C found my nipple, latched on correctly and looked up at me with happy big eyes. I cried tears of joy.

I have been very blessed, C has always latched well and I have been able to keep my supply up

enough to make her happy and gaining weight rapidly. We have had some fun adventures with our breastfeeding that I thought I would share along with a recipe for my favorite Gluten Free Lactation Cookies.

Forceful Letdown
Usually mothers with this problem have an oversupply but my boobies produce just the right amount, they just spray down baby's throat like a fire hose! When I pump the milk forcefully comes out so fast that in about five minutes I have pumped two ounces and my breast is empty. All this milk so fast made poor C gassy. I talked to a couple lactation consultants and they suggested breastfeeding while lying on my side, at a slight recline, or with C sitting up so her mouth was slightly above the nipple and the milk had to go "up hill". With in a day of nursing in this way her gas was manageable and she was happy again.

Breastfeeding in Public
I do not use a cover. I know many mothers do and for different reasons. Some feel like it is more modest, some feel like it draws less attention and some do it so the baby does not get distracted by the noise, bright colors and nature of the outside world. I do not use a cover for the following reasons,

1. Nursing is a bonding experience, if C cannot make eye contact with me it takes away from the relationship.
2. If I use a cover it is harder to check for a good latch and position her correctly so she does not end up with gas from my forceful letdown.
3. I feel like it draws MORE attention. Once you see a mother sitting on the side with a nursing cover you know right away what she is up to and if you do not you might stare a little longer to figure it out. Every day I wear a modest nursing tank or a two shirts so one can go down and one can go up keeping me covered. I position baby so her head blocks my boob and nurse away. Anyone who looks in my direction almost always look away very fast if they actually understand what I am doing. No one has ever just stood there and watched and so far no one has had the guts to tell me to use a cover. This funny commercial says it all for me, a big thumbs up to Luvs! 

Bring Up Your Supply
Although I am a stay at home mama at the moment I was so frightened something would happen to make my supply go down and I would lose my nursing relationship or make it frustrating. I began to build up a supply by pumping once a day. I slowly built up a little freezer stash, but I wanted to add a little more so I am in the process of building up my supply. Here are the couple tricks I have been doing to increase my milk supply slowly,
1. Pump for an extra few minutes after the milk flow stops to encourage my body to make more milk.
2. Nurse on demand. When C is hungry I give her nursing and try to encourage her to nurse for a long session. People tease me of letting her use me as a "human pacifier" but allowing the baby to comfort nurse helps to build up your supply. Plus there is the added bonus of your body releasing happy oxytocin (the love hormone) making you feel that all is right with the world. When I lie down at night and let baby C comfort nurse I am convinced I can solve the world's problems by letting angry people hold an adorable sleeping baby!
3. Eat lactation cookies. Not that I need an excuse to eat cookies but this is a great idea. You can mess with your own recipe but you want to make sure that it contains flax seed, brewers yeast and steal cut oatmeal. Those are the three magic ingredients to make you a mama milk machine. Here is my favorite recipe. I bake a third and freeze the rest so I can cut and bake two at a time.

Gluten Free Lactation Cookies
2 Tablespoons flax seed meal
4 Tablespoons and 1 cup of water
1 cup salted butter, soften to room temperature
1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup of almond flour
1 cup of GF oat flour
3-4 Tablespoons brewer’s yeast
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 cups steal cut oats
1 bag of chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. In a small bowl, combine the flax seed meal and 4 tablespoons of water. Let stand for 5 minutes.
3. In a medium sized bowl combine steal cut oats and one cup of water and let it soak for 10 minutes while you do the next steps.
4. In a large bowl or stand-up mixer, beat butter and brown sugar well.
5. Add eggs and beat well.
6. Add flax seed mixture and vanilla, beat well.
7. In a separate bowl combine brewer’s yeast, and baking soda.
8. Add dry ingredients to butter mixture, mix well.
9. Strain water from oats then add to mixture gently
10. Stir chocolate chips.
11. Scoop by rounded tablespoons onto baking tray.
12. Bake 12 minutes.
13. Cool on baking tray for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.

If you are baking from frozen add two minutes to the baking time. My whole family loves these cookies! Oh and don't worry, your husband can eat these and he will not start lactating ;)

Baby C signing "I love you" to her boobie

Donating Your Freezer Stash
I do not produce a lot of extra milk, I keep 20oz in my freezer and donate the rest. It was important to me to give back to the world since so many mothers donated to my twins. If you are interested in donating your extra milk look up these two organizations on Facebook. They are wonderful communities and will help you connect with mothers who are in need. On the flip side, if you have a low supply or are in need you can connect with women who are willing to donate to you! 

Human Milk for Human Babies
Eats on Feets

Feel free to share your breastfeeding adventures below!

Cora's Birth Story

I had so much hope but also a lot of fear when I woke Tuesday morning. I knew it was my last chance to give birth naturally before facing a hospital induction. My mother came to help me run errands and play with the twins. Once we put them down for a nap a lovely midwife named Jill came to give me an induction massage. For the first time in days I let go of tension and fear and gave in to the unknown. When she left I took my second try at castor oil. The foul tasting oil did nothing the week before but I figured it couldn’t hurt. I then retreated upstairs to stay centered.

The rushes began suddenly at 6:30pm and at 8:00 I called my midwife Kelly. By the time she arrived my rushes were 2 minutes apart and gaining intensity. I was so grateful to be in labor that I vocally thanked the baby and God often for the rushes and the labor. Kelly prepped my room while coaching me through rushes. Around midnight we tried to get some rest but as soon as Kelly tucked us in and went downstairs I felt a huge pop and sent Brad running for Kelly. It was my water breaking and labor was fast and furious after that point.

I climbed into the bath tub and things became very intense, suddenly my body took over and began to push with out my consent. Kelly got me out of the bath and on to all fours. I pushed a few times but suddenly we had a concern because I began to bleed a little. Quickly I was on my side and needing to push hard to get her out as fast as possible. Kelly had to cut me and in 2 seconds her whole body shot out and was placed on my belly.

We found out later that a small piece of the placenta became detached which is what caused the

bleeding. Cora Joan Heidenberg was born at 2am on April 10th after a short 8 hour labor weighing 6 pounds 7 ounces and 18.5 inches long. I was in transition for about 20 minutes and pushed for about 30 minutes.

My midwife Kelly was like sunshine, calm, warm and full of love. She was the best person I could have chosen to guide me. Her partner Joscelyn was amazing, a beautiful person inside and out who truly made me feel like a warrior mother. Brad was a fantastic birth partner, he said all the right things and knew when to help. I am so grateful to my birth team, our chemistry was truly magical. Our birth was calm, not nearly as painful or intense as I expected, full of love and absent of fear. It is my deepest wish that all women are empowered in their birth and can birth with out fear. 

Fear Release for Birth:
from talkbirth.me
There goes all fear you hold about giving birth. The birth will be perfect.
There goes all fear you hold about healing. You will heal beautifully
There goes all fear you hold about not being a good mother. You will be enough.
There goes all fear of never being creative again. You have a deep well of creativity within your soul.
There goes the deepest, most private fears you have about giving birth. 

You will be enough. You will be enough. You are strong enough.

My amazing midwife is Kelly Olmstead, of Dawning Mama Midwifery in Santa Cruz, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dawning-Mama-Midwifery-Services/145193487403?ref=ts&fref=ts 

What You May Not Know About the Hard of Hearing

Some people are shocked to discover that I am HOH (Hard of Hearing), this is thanks to the fact that I lost my hearing slowly from childhood to adulthood. As an adult I sit with about a 55dB level loss with one ear worse then the other which means I am very near the cut off for understanding conversation. I thought it might be informative and maybe even funny for me to post some things you may not know about what it is like to be HOH.

1. I am not ignoring you: It happens at least once a day that someone tries to get my attention and I do not respond so they assume I am ignoring their efforts. The truth is I didn't hear you! It is okay to tap me on the shoulder, this is culturally appropriate and I rarely bite :)

2. I can hear some sounds clearly and other sounds are soft: This makes the harder to hear "softer" sounds nearly impossible to understand. Example, a movie that has background music. I can almost always hear music better then voices so the music takes over and I can no longer hear the voices. This often results in a TV that is unbearably loud to normal hearing and closed captions on at all times. It also means that if you play music in the car I can not hear you most of the time.

3. I get "sound overload" that leads to headaches: Since I have to concentrate so hard on what people are saying or what sounds mean I often get very tired or a headache from all the extra work. Therefore, I love my silence!

4. Lip reading is NOT fool proof: Example "ball" and "fall" look the same as well as many other words. This can become a comedy of errors really fast! Plus in order to lip read well I need decent light, little background noise and a person who talks normally and with out an accent. I usually catch about 75% of what a person says on a good day meaning I might miss a word or two and ask you to repeat several times. Sometimes I just cannot get it and need the person to rephrase or write it down.

5. I chose not to wear a hearing aid for good reasons: I hate hearing aids, they get nasty feedback and only make sounds you can already hear louder. They are a very simple device that consists of a microphone which picks up the sound, an amplifier which makes the sound louder and a speaker that sends the sound down your ear canal. It is the same device you would use to speak to a crowd of people. So what happens if your cell phone gets too close to that microphone? Yep, feedback, right in your ear...lovely. Even if they didn't get feedback it is not helpful that both the music and the speaking gets louder, if I am having a hard time understanding speech but I can hear the music having everything louder is not going to solve the problem. Don't worry, I get along just fine with out them!

6. I hate using the phone: My friends and family get mad at me that I rarely answer the phone. The main reason is I can barely hear anything on a phone and need the sounds to be amplified. The house needs to be quiet so I can concentrate and with two year old twins at home my house is almost never quiet! 

7. I don't know that I am shouting: My family used to get so mad at me for shouting all the time when I was younger. I slowly learned to turn down my voice and realized that even if I could not hear myself others can hear me. When I speak now I often do not hear my own voice unless the environment is quiet. 

8. I don't want to fix it: It is odd to others that I do not want hearing aids and I do not want to fix my "problem". In fact, I kinda wish I had more hearing loss. I often feel that it would be a more peaceful life. Plus I wouldn't hear all the stupid comments from strangers in public asking if my girls are twins, if they are a boy and a girl and why I was crazy enough to want more! Not hearing those would be awesome :)

9. I prefer using Sign Language: If you know some signs I would much prefer to have a conversation with you in ASL then try to read your lips. It gives my head a rest and I can relax and enjoy conversing with you.

10. I love the Deaf culture: I may not be deaf but I am Deaf. When we use "deaf" we are referring to an actual hearing loss or a medical condition or making a cliche comment like "my words fell on deaf ears." When you use Deaf you are talking about a person who identifies with the Deaf community, uses ASL, and perhaps works for the community or lives in the community. Even though I am HOH I still consider myself a part of the Deaf culture.

There are many more but it is time for this overdue mama to rest! Feel free to ask me questions below!

They Bite, Hit and Scream - Toddlers Testing Limits

As I write this post one of my almost two year old toddlers is biting her lovey and looking at me with one eye brow raised to see my reaction. Mothers have all been here before, Toddlerville, the land of testing limits. B and I are very communicative parents, we always discuss who we will jointly respond to each new limit test so the girls get the same reaction from both of us. This is great but what is a mama to do when the negative reaction is still a reaction and therefore the child "wins"? Then you add in the fact that I have this times TWO and I am a very tired mama who is over due in my pregnancy...you have a recipe for a disaster. 

So I pause this morning to remember that this is a normal stage of development. All our toddlers at some point bite, hit and scream, this we cannot control but what we can control is our reactions. Deep breathing has never been more helpful! If I have not mentioned it before my husband B is a child psychologist, I often defer to his advice on what to do in certain situations. We also look to books that may be helpful and the advice of seasoned parents we respect. Some of you may wonder how I can handle twins, a pregnancy, work and a household. Every child is different but below are my most common reactions and responses to the lovely toddlerisms,

1. No reaction: sometimes the answer is not to respond in the way they expect. Often if the situation will not result in something broken or hurt I will simply raise one eyebrow and let the child respond first. Example, the child is running and falls down hard after you told them not to run. I raise and eyebrow and wait for her response, the hurt of the fall is enough for her to learn the lesson.

2. Remove from the situation: This is more of a twin mom thing, but it applies to any child. Often our children will begin a tug-of-war over a toy and begin to scream, hit and bite each other until one gives up and sinks to the ground in tears. If they are not being too rough we let them work it out on their own, I do not want one twin to be labeled "the victim" she will need to learn how to stand up for herself. Sometimes mama needs to get involved and when that time comes I remove the twins from the situation placing them on opposite sides of the room. This also works for the times when a child is getting into something she shouldn't, in our house an example is playing with the curtains. I give a warning first, "E, no curtains please". If she does not listen then I pick her up and move her to the other side explaining, "Mama, said no curtains." as I relocate her.

3. Never withhold love: I am a huge believer in not withholding my love from the child for one-single-minute. Even when I am very mad I will say, "I love you BUT you cannot hit mama". When we remove the child from the situation we will still allow them to ask for comfort and it is freely given. Example is the child is relocated but asks for her lovey or a cuddle. We will give those to the child demonstrating that we can be mad at the situation but we will always love her.

4. Use simple language and do not try to reason with your toddler: It makes me laugh when people try to reason with their toddler. Developmentally speaking your toddler is not capable of reasoning at this point in her life so you are only frustrating her and yourself. Instead use simple language and give only two options, "Stop standing on the couch or go down on the floor."

5. Loudly praise positive behavior: Every time I see one of my girls share a toy, offer half her cracker to her sister or comfort her twin when she is sad I loudly and proudly praise that child. Use simple language, "That is so sweet!", "I love it when you share!", or "Yay, G that is great sharing!". When she responds really well to something you asked such as telling her not to pull the curtains and she leaves them alone after you ask give a huge smile and say something positive like, "Thank you for listening!". 

6. Do not do behavior you do not want them to mimic: Sounds simple but every parent has made this mistake! If you do not want your child to hit then do not hit her, if you do not want her to yell then keep your voice low, and if you want them to share with each other then you need to share with the children. Modeling positive behavior is important as well, I will cuddle the sad twin and then invite the other one to come and comfort her too or when they frustrate me I will take a deep breath and do a low hum to center myself (I have seen G do this lately which is adorable!). It's black and white, monkey-see-monkey-do, if you want good behavior from your children then you need to behave! 

As I said before, every child is different. I found Dr. Sear's books on different children's personalities very helpful in coming up with these 6 tips. According to him my children are "persistent personalities" and anyone who has been around us for even a few hours will confirm that this truly fits my girls! This was helpful when we were discussing how to react to Toddlerville because it helped us adjust our responses to their personality type. There is no escaping Toddlerville, it is a destination we all must visit so welcome to our Toddlerville, current population four. And to all of you with toddlers, "may the force be with you!".

Ditch Your Microwave!

A years ago as a young bride I was heating a seed filled “boo boo” pad in the microwave and it had a small explosion. Needless to say after that the unit was toast and the tiny apartment we were currently living in had an odd smell for a few days. At this point I was not very “green” and my motivation for not replacing the microwave was monetary...just not worth it! Fast forward a few years and I have been transformed to a green guru. Now my reasons for a microwave free kitchen are more grounded in fact. So here is the deal on microwaves,

The food molecules are transformed

Heating from the inside out. My favorite example is the burrito. The middle heats up faster then the outside so to the touch it appears to be uncooked and in need of more time. Then you bite into the beast and the middle is boiling lava hot, ouch! This process was enough for me to stay away from the unit but then I found that the process of microwaving food causes certain carcinogens. It shifts around the molecules causing the food to become unrecognizable by your body and / or toxic. In fact, in 1976 the Soviet Union banned the use of microwave ovens! (healthscience.com)

Not good for baby

Mothers are told in parenting classes, by seasoned mommies and by breastfeeding literature that breastmilk cannot be heated in the microwave. Have you ever wondered why? Why would it be okay for me to heat cows milk and drink it but I shouldn’t heat up human milk? It is because the process destroys important properties of the milk. On top of that it is recommended that formula should also not be microwaved,
“Microwaving baby formulas converted certain trans-amino acids into their synthetic cis-isomers. Synthetic isomers, whether cis-amino acids or trans-fatty acids, are not biologically active. Further, one of the amino acids, L-proline, was converted to its d-isomer, which is known to be neurotoxic (poisonous to the nervous system) and nephrotoxic (poisonous to the kidneys). It's bad enough that many babies are not nursed, but now they are given fake milk (baby formula) made even more toxic via microwaving." - Dr. Lita Lee of Hawaii

It changes your blood

This is truly creepy, here is what happened. “In 1991, there was a lawsuit in Oklahoma concerning the hospital use of a microwave oven to warm blood needed in a transfusion. The case involved a hip surgery patient, Norma Levitt, who died from a simple blood transfusion. It seems the nurse had warmed the blood in a microwave oven. This tragedy makes it very apparent that there's much more to "heating" with microwaves than we've been led to believe. Blood for transfusions is routinely warmed, but not in microwave ovens. In the case of Mrs. Levitt, the microwaving altered the blood and it killed her.” - Robert O. Becker's The Body Electric, and in Ellen Sugarman's book, Warning, the Electricity Around You May Be Hazardous to Your Health.


What’s a Green Guru To Do?

Get rid of the microwave! I have happily lived with out one for about 7 years. Yes, it does take a little longer to cook foods but if you have a working oven, a nice toaster, a convection oven and several pots then you will learn quickly how to deal. I have found that food just plain tastes better when it is heated in the conventional oven. So here is the dirty truth about that magical heating box in your kitchen, do with it what you may.

Resources

http://www.health-science.com/microwave_hazards.html
Robert O. Becker's The Body Electric, and in Ellen Sugarman's book, Warning, the Electricity Around You May Be Hazardous to Your Health.

"I will NOT be pregnant forever."

Humans were not created to be with child for 15 months in a row but that is how long I have been pregnant. My pregnancy with River ended far too soon, after we lost him we never thought we would get pregnant again, let alone so quickly. Low and behold our little rainbow chose the month after my surgery with River to be conceived. I think she might have been created the very week we were given the okay from the doctor to be together again. Therefore, I went seamlessly from one pregnancy to another, no breaks. 

Crafts have kept me busy!

Here I sit, very pregnant, in false labor for the fourth time and impatiently waiting for this rainbow to make her appearance. I do not want to rush this little girl into the world before she is ready but doesn't she understand how tired mama is of being pregnant? My reasons for wanting to labor are selfishly driven, this I understand. I have spent the better part of my days trying to center myself which led me to my new mantra, I will NOT be pregnant forever. 

The ironic part about all of this is I know I will miss her once she is born. It is such a miracle that I am pregnant in the first place that this little girl could be my last pregnancy, my last squishy baby, my last rainbow. She might not be, we could be blessed again, but I never take any baby in our family for granted. I know once she is born I will miss her little movements inside of me, the feeling of her baby hiccups and funny booty dances. I know I will miss that special pregnant feeling, when people smile at you in the grocery store and get the door for you. Soon I will be that crazy lady who had three kids in under two years. I will go back to looks of pity and rude comments from strangers about how loony I am to have so many kids so close together. Soon I will have to put on my brave face and take my "come back" comments out of my back pocket.

Soon...soon...but not right now. For now I am still pregnant, a mother of twins, a wife to B and a Professor on maternity leave. Right now I am still a holy vessel carrying and nurturing our third miracle child. Right now I anxiously await her arrival while freaking out that my house is not clean enough, my freezer is not full enough and I will never have enough cloth diapers.

For right now I am still pregnant.

How We Got Twins to Sleep 12 Hours by 12 Months

Recently my husband and I have received many inquiries on how we got our twins to sleep for twelve hours straight by themselves by a year old. I thought I would share with you the tricks that worked for us but please keep in mind that every child is different and responds to techniques in their own unique way! Also a short disclaimer...we are a little unorthodox!

The following tricks are a combination of different sleep training books I read and some things we made up along the way,

Trick #1 - The Bed Time Routine
Each night about an hour or 90 minutes before we wanted to go to bed we would begin a bed time routine. The house would become nice and quiet, few lights would be on, we would speak in soft voices. We would fill up their bellies with mama milk then I would hop into a warm bath with lavender oil and hum or sing to them softly as they cuddled me skin to skin. To avoid their skin drying out I would only wash them with gentle calendula soup once every four to five days. After the bath daddy would change them into bed time diapers and clothes then swaddle them nice and tight and we would all lie down in bed together. The girls became used to having a bed time routine, as they aged we slowly transitioned the bed time routine to fit their age. At almost two years old the routine now consists of dinner, a diaper change, gathering our loveys (stuffed kitty animals that the girls use as a security object), some cuddles and putting them to bed in their room. Then mama and daddy get grown up adult time downstairs all by ourselves! (with the video monitor on so mama can watch the babies sleep).

Trick #2 - The Family Bed

Daddy and E taking a nap on the couch

I warned you that we are a little unorthodox...we had a family bed until the girls were a year old. We tried having them in a crib in our room and in a side car but the only way we all got a decent nights sleep was cuddling up in the bed together. Part of it was the babies, they wanted to hear us breathing and feel our body warmth. Part of it was the ease of night time feedings, we could roll over and give them a bottle of mama milk then go back to sleep with out having to get out of bed. And part of it was mama paranoia, I know you all understand the impulse to check if the baby is breathing every ten minutes. When your child spent three months in the NICU that impulse is out of control. Add the fact that I am Hard of Hearing so I cannot hear them wake or breath and you have a recipe for disaster. I was up out of the bed checking on them so often that no one got any sleep. Having my babies right next to me helped me to sleep better, I often slept with a hand wrapped around them so I could feel the rise and fall of their bellies. If you worry about the "dangers" of family bed...don't! It is safe and a common practice around the world, just make sure your bed is free of any hazards and close to the ground. Our bed is not on a frame, just the mattress and box spring on the ground.

Trick #3 - Transitioning Out of the Bed or Transferring the Security Object
Almost every time I shared the fact that we practiced family bed with someone who did not they loved to warn me that I will never be able to get my babies out of bed with me. They always knew someone, somewhere that had a five year old still sleeping with his parents. Well I will tell you that it doesn't have to be that way! Our girls let us know when they were ready to move on and we listened. The indicators that they were ready for their own bed were the following, they woke up from OUR movements, they began to sleep crawl, and they searched for their own slice of the bed away from me rather then cuddling. We began the transition of moving them out of our bed by first moving them to a side car next to our bed. We gave them a security object (stuffed kitty cats) to so mama and daddy were no longer the security item but instead we had something portable. Once they were used to that we moved them into their own beds in their room and checked on them as needed. One of the hardest things for me to do was to stop checking on them, B soon realized I needed some peace of mind so he bought me a video monitor. Soon we were all fine on our own.

Trick #4 - Bed Time is NOT Play Time
When our girls woke up in the middle of the night we did not talk to them or mess with them at all. Instead we figured out the reason for the wakefulness, a dirty diaper, a swaddle blanket undone, or hunger. We fixed the problem with no talking just gentle hands and a kiss then went back to sleep. If they woke to play and nothing else we did not respond but instead wrapped them up tighter and cuddled them until they went back to sleep. They soon learned that night time was for sleeping. If they woke up when the sun was up then mama and daddy were fair game, even if that was at 6am but before the sun was sleep time.

Trick #5 - Don't Rock the Boat
If baby falls asleep downstairs in the bouncy chair by God do not wake up baby! We would carry the bouncy chair up stairs and place it beside our bed then when baby woke up for a feeding or diaper change we would change her for the night and cuddle her up into bed with us. This happened often, I would say easily two nights a week each child, if not both would fall asleep on their own downstairs with us and for that night that child would skip the routine.

As I said before, each child responds in their own unique way to techniques so some of these may not work for your child's personality. For our very high needs preemie babies these tricks helped us to have twelve full hours of sleep every-single-night. Our children go down to bed every night around seven and wake on their own around seven in the morning. They also have an afternoon routine with lunch time that leads to a one hour nap in the middle of the day. With the new child we will do the same routine and I am sure that in her own special way she will let us know what we need to adapt to her style. Hopefully some of these tricks help you to get your child sleeping 12 hours by 12 months!

Got Milk? - How a Village Saved My Babies

"Ora na azu nwa ~ It takes a village to raise a child"

African proverb

When my twins were born they were perfect, beautiful, and born to a family who had so much love to give. I wish their beginning could have been easier but that is not my girl's birth story. Their lives began too early from the womb and from day one we had problems getting them to eat well. They had feeding tubes until about four months old. Even when they left the NICU they came home with feeding tubes and were not gaining weight normally.

We discovered after some tests that the girls both had allergies to ingredients found in all formulas. This is why they were not gaining weight, their bodies could not absorb anything if it was under attack from allergies. Following my instincts and the medical advice from my doctor I tried to breastfeed. But the girls had horrible nippling issues and were used to a bottle. Pumping alone would not make my milk come in and the result was never enough milk for my medically fragile babies. Desperate I turned to my doctor for advice. He gave us a prescription for the local Milk Bank and I called them as soon as we arrived at home. Even with a prescription from the doctor stating that breast milk is medically necessary because of my twins allergies to formula they still wanted to charge us $3 an ounce plus the cost of overnight shipping in a refrigerator box. At that point my twins were consuming 60 ounces a day which would cost us $180 a day (plus the cost of shipping which was about $50). They did not take insurance and there was no way we could pay that high cost.

Our first full freezer

I have to admit at this point I panicked. I had to find a solution fast. This time I turned to the Internet and found two organizations that put mothers in touch with each other for milk sharing. I asked our doctor about the safety of doing such an adventure and he reassured me that breast milk, even from another mother, is perfectly healthy as long as we knew some medical background. What I quickly discovered is that the type of mother who is willing to donate her milk is the type of woman who fully discloses any information you would need to make an informed choice. I put a few ads up and said some prayers. Quickly women from all over our state responded to me offering their freezer stash of liquid gold. We packed up our girls and traveled to these milky destinations, sometimes hundreds of miles away.

Over the next year I would form friendships that have lasted to this day. I am so grateful to these women for saving my children but also welcoming us into their lives. These women that I once met to transfer frozen milk from her cooler to mine are now some of my close friends. Our children have grown up together, we have shared birthday parties, births of new babies and holidays. 

With the birth of our third child coming any day I hope and pray that I can donate back to the universe. The African proverb is true, sometimes it does take a village to raise a child. For our family it took a village to feed our children! Seeing how milk sharing blessed our lives I can only imagine how amazing it will be to bless someone else. I hope that this blog post encourages you to donate your freezer stash, if you should decide to do so I have listed the organizations I have used below.

Human Milk for Human Babies - a Facebook group, you can post there if you are able to donate or need donations. 

Eats on Feets - also a Facebook group

Parent's Place - a local group that provides support and classes, for locals check out their Yahoo group to post about milk sharing.

To all the mothers who joined our "village" I cannot thank you enough. I hope you all know how much we love and appreciate you!

Preparing For Baby - Freezer Meals

An Urban Tale

A woman gives birth and her church community or friends started a dinner train to deliver homemade meals to the new family providing them with food for the first few weeks after baby's arrival. 

I know this must happen somewhere to someone but it has certainly never happened to me! When the twins came home from a three month NICU stay we found ourselves ordering take out and doing fast trips to Trader Joe's for ready made meals. No one brought us food. Now to be fair, B's family and my close circle of friends all live 400 miles away but our local church community did nothing. When we lost baby River my dear friend Jeana brought us a homemade pasta salad, I was so relieved to have something to eat at a time when it seemed inappropriate to do anything "normal" like cook a meal. I do not mention this to be a "pity party" for myself but rather to inspire you to take care of those you love. If you know someone who is recovering from surgery, lost a loved one or just had a baby, please consider bringing them some homemade food. It will be consumed with joy and gratitude!

When I was preparing for the arrival of this baby I knew that take out and ready made meals would not be ideal so I began to prepare freezer meals ahead of time. With this baby due any day I can rest easy knowing my freezer is packed with yummy homemade food that will be healthy for everyone. To keep it simple I would buy double the ingredients for a meal I knew would freeze well, we would eat one half that night and freeze the other half. Over the last few months I have learned some tricks of the trade that I would like to share with you. 

1. Soups are almost always a good idea, they freeze well and they are easy to reheat. I suggest placing all the ingredients uncooked in a freezer zip bag (unless the soup has meat, you will want to cook the meat first). 

2. Many recipes can be adapted to work in a Crock Pot saving you tons of time from babysitting the stove top. The recipe I am going to post below was a stove top meal until I adapted it to work in the Crock Pot. The trick is to look for the point in the steps where it could cook slowly for a few hours verses on a high temperature over an hour.

3. Each meal needs to be analyzed to find out at what point you put it in the freezer. For a meal like chili I par cook the meat, bell peppers and onions together then place all the ingredients together in a casserole dish and freeze them then pop them into the Crock Pot to cook for five hours. For pasta based meals that are baked you will want to freeze them right before the baking step. For meat dishes like meat loaf you can cook them to the point where you need to remove the cover to let it brown. Don't remove the cover, instead freeze it at that point so your meat does not get tough. Freezer specific meals will tell you when to put it in the freezer but the biggest tip I can share is this, make sure your food is completely cooled before placing in the freezer!

4. Choose your freezer wear wisely. Make sure you pick glass over plastic so you do not end up with that weird plastic taste to your food when it thaws. Lids will need to fit nice and snug. I like to get short, shallow glass dishes with silicone lids because they are easy to stack and oven friendly. To prepare something to eat all I have to do is let it thaw for a couple hours then place in the oven or Crock Pot. 

5. Do not be afraid to freeze baked goods. The trick to freezing things like banana bread or muffins is to par bake them then freeze, from there place them in the oven. For things like cookies or scones I freeze the dough in rolls then put them in freezer bags. 

Here is my family's favorite freezer meal, it is really good for you and tastes amazing both fresh and from frozen! This makes enough for two meals for three adults and two very hungry children.

Spicy Lentil Soup with Turkey Meat Balls

2 pounds of spicy Italian turkey sausage meat not in the casing (I have Whole Foods make it for me fresh on the spot since sausage casing is pork and I do not eat pork. You can certainly substitute meat balls for sausage and this will still taste great)


4 cups chopped green cabbage


1 cup chopped onions


1 green pepper, chopped


3 cloves garlic, minced


4 cups of vegetable broth with some to spare (chicken broth works too, I prefer veggie broth)

2 cups dried green lentils


1 cup of dried red lentils (you can use three cups of green if you do not have any red)

1 cup of brown rice


2 tablespoons of turmeric

1 tablespoon of Cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon of cumin 

3-5 tablespoons of olive oil

salt to taste

To Cook: In a large pot add some olive oil and salt then place over medium-high heat until hot. Add the meat balls or sausage. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until browned. Add the cabbage, onions, green peppers, garlic, and 1 cup of the stock. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the onions are soft but not browned.

Add the lentils, rice, spices, and the remaining 3 cups stock. Bring to a boil. 

For the Half you eat that night: Transfer half to a Crock Pot and place on low heat for five hours or high heat for three hours. Sometime toward the end of the cooking you might need to add a little water or extra stock as the lentils soak up the broth, just add liquid until you get the consistency you desire then let it heat back up and serve. I usually do this about 30 minutes before we eat and I always use water, this does not "water down" the flavor, I promise!

For the Freezer: Place the second half in a freezer friendly dish and let it cool completely before placing it in the freezer.

To reheat: Thaw overnight in the refrigerator or for a couple hours on a counter top. Transfer to a Crock Pot and place on low heat for five hours or high heat for three hours. 

I hope you enjoy this meal as much as my family! 

So You Have a Picky Eater...

Often other mothers stare at my children in amazement as they try a kalamata olive, anchovies or leavy green vegetable and make yummy noises then ask for more. People ask my husband and I how we got so lucky with our toddler's eating habits, I always reply that luck has nothing to do with it!

The beginnings of my stir fry

I was determined to have healthy eaters from the day my babies began solid foods. We quickly came up with house rules for eating habits, we knew that if we modeled good eating then the children would be more open to trying items that we eat. From day one we never gave the girls sugar, homemade all their baby foods out of foods we eat, offered fruits and veggies first before other foods and ate the same thing that we were feeding the babies. I let them eat off my plate, made yummy noises for foods I thought they might not want to eat and tried to be patient with foods they clearly did not like. 

One of my girls, E, is very tactile sensitive. She does not like anything that is grainy, sandy or pokes your finger. This was important to remember when giving her foods, some foods she refuses based on texture, and that's fine. My other girl, G, will try anything and eat pretty much what ever you are offering. When it comes to food she is always game! 

You may be asking yourself what specifically I fed my children, here is a list of house rules that we made up and follow to this day,
1. We all eat the same things, if we want to eat something they cannot have we try not to do it in front of them and wait until later. Remember that if it tastes good to you then it will taste good to them so you try it first and have them watch! If the apple sauce you made is boring add some cinnamon or if the oatmeal tastes like paste then add a little coconut sugar and milk.
2. No processed food for the following reasons,
- it changes the taste: have you ever tried those canned peas or carrots? You tell me if it tastes as good as the real deal, and yet we expect our children to eat it?
- the canning process takes away good properties of the food because it needs to be heated to a certain temperature in order to extend shelf life.
- the preservatives or thickening agents are sometimes harmful. Twin E is allergic to lotus bean (also known as carob root) which is found in fat free dairy items and canned baby food. It is used to artificially thicken the food.
- often sugar, corn syrup or salt is added to help with flavor which creates a cycle of children expecting all food to be sweet. Sadly if you formula fed your child this cycle started on day one of the formula feeding since all formulas have some type of sugar.
3. Limit sugar to natural. This does not mean that those sugar posers like Truvia or Stevia, what I am referring to is coconut sugar, honey (after the age of one) and fruit. I make the girls "cookies" using oatmeal, cinnamon, eggs, buckwheat with mashed bananas for sweetness. They gobble them up! We also limit natural sugars like juice by giving the girls 1/3 juice and 2/3 water, I personally do this to my own juice as well.
4. Do not offer foods we do not want them to like. It sounds simple, if you do not want your kid to be obsessed with mac and cheese then do not offer it! Side note, I LOVE mac and cheese but make a healthier version of it at home with amazing ingredients.
5. Make sure that caregivers respect our rules. Our children have only been watched by us, my mother and two different nannies that we have had since day one. Everyone is on board with our food rules and it shows!
6. Make healthier choices. We choose to eat sprouted bread over white or whole wheat, we almost always choose organic, we limit meat to about two meals a week, we add veggies or "hide" them in food whenever possible, we use alternative flours for baking (oat, buckwheat, almond, quinoa, brown rice and coconut flours) we never give our kids anything with corn syrup, we avoid anything fried like french fries, whole milk dairy, and we use alternative oils for cooking (olive or coconut instead of canola or veggie oil).

G enjoying an egg casserole

If you already have a picky toddler then this will be an uphill battle. You may have already given in to processed foods or sugar and it will be hard to take them away. Just keep in mind that it is never to late to create change but the more time you wait to change the process will take longer. I would suggest a complete overhaul instead of a phasing out. Make sure you offer foods that taste good and start with things that almost every kid enjoys such as homemade apple sauce, smoothies, pasta and sauce (but hide some veggies in that sauce and make sure to blend it in so they don't pick them out!) or alternative "cookies" like I mentioned above. It IS possible to transform a picky toddler into a healthy eater, I was able to do it with a child I nannied for full time from age one to three. But you have to get everyone on board, including the child. If you have any questions about how to specifically hide veggies, change to healthier options or anything else feel free to comment here and I will share what I know!

(To make your own baby food you can use a standard blender but we invested in a Beaba Babycook. I do not recommend this product but there are similar versions on the market that are better. It was the only baby food maker you could buy when the girls were born. To save time I would make baby food in large batches and freeze the left overs in ice cube trays then pop out the blocks and put them in labeled freezer bags. Other foods I would mash up or cut into small pieces for the girls.)

Why Cloth Diapering Makes Sense

Goodmama diaper, Buntcakes Photography

I have been told I am crazy for cloth diapering twins but I feel that it would be insane to spend hard earned money on something that your babies poop on then you throw it away! Although my husband and I do tease that our home is where cloth diapers go to die, because with twins they are over worked! When our girls came home we did not have enough cloth diapers yet and we were moving to a larger house so I used disposable diapers for a few weeks. Each box of diapers had around 30 inside and cost about $13, I quickly did the math calculating how much I would spend per week then per month then for the first year if this continued. The cost came out to just shy of $3,000! This is an average of $1,500 per baby. 

I opted to buy more cloth diapers, it is a larger start up cost but in the end I knew it would save us money. We tried several different diaper systems and I quickly noticed that diapers with layers of PUL (a plastic liner to prevent leaks) did not wash as clean, dry as fast or let baby's skin breath. We chose to go with fitted diapers and wool covers. In about two or three days all diaper rashes cleared up and only returned with teething. Each fitted diaper cost about $12 to $20 depending on the brand. I kept tabs on how much I was spending. In the end here is how it broke down,

Wool longies, picture from Bundtcakes Photography

$500 on diapers
$200 on wool covers
= $700 for a diaper and bottom clothing stash that lasted for two years...and counting!

This saved us over $2,000 for just the first year and a little less then $2,000 the second year because diaper changes became fewer as the girls grew up. With the new baby we decided to begin with prefold diapers for the newborn stage since we skipped that size for the twins and they are much more cost effective at $2 each. Cost was not the only concern for cloth diapering, here are some other good reasons to consider cloth over throw away.

- fewer diaper rashes
- healthier for baby's skin
- easier on the planet, less in the landfill. In an ideal world you would be using a water efficient washer and line drying but with twins we almost always use the dryer.
- they are super cute! My twins get compliments all the time on their adorable wool pants.
- easier potty learning, since the baby feels wet they quickly learn not to like the feeling of a dirty diaper. 
- they last for years, often beyond just one child. Our girls are passing down many of their diapers to our new baby (who is due any day!) Sadly some have died but they served their time :)
- it is not as much work as you think it will be! We do one load of diaper laundry once a day or every other day. I throw them in the washer on a heavy bedding setting with a scoop of Tide and an extra rinse then dry...easy as pie!

Boogie Bums Diaper

If you have any questions feel free to ask in the comments and I will get back to you. We have tried almost every brand at some point and know how to deal with issues like stink build up, where to find deals and how to wash. 

Here are my favorite places to buy diapers,
Prefolds: Green Mountain Diapers
Fitteds: Diaperswappers.com or Facebook groups like Cloth Diaper Swap. For locals try out Expressed Luv in Marina.
Wool: Diapperswappers.com or Facebook groups like Wool Swap

Baby Showers, Blessingways and Birth Preparation

The entrance of my twin girls to this world was like a summer storm, we saw it coming on the horizon but the full impact could not be determined, predicted or contained. They burst into our lives with such a great force that a baby shower was the last thing on anyone's mind. Instead of celebrating we survived. Each person came forward with their own gifts and offerings to our little girls, individual dinners and visits were welcomed and cherished. During this time I did feel sad that there was nothing traditional about their birth, that I didn't have a baby shower or the normal newborn experience but I was so happy to be a mother, finally, that I let it all go and enjoyed my little ones.

This time around I wanted the celebrations, the party, the cooing over my big belly and the blessings and support of my dear friends. I was the happy recipient of both a baby shower and a Blessingway.  The baby shower was held by my dear friend Bethany. We go way back to the days of pleated plaid school skirts, really bad hair and band instruments that never should have been shoved on a bus! She did the most amazing party for me, every detail was thought out and everyone there saw her decorations and preparations with awe. But it was not the actual party that stood out to me the most, it was having my dear friends who I rarely see all in the same room at the same time. We played games and had many giggles along with a few tears of joy and when I finally went home I felt so blessed to have so many wonderful women in my life.

Birth art created by myself

The Blessingway was a different type of celebration. It is a Native American ceremony that takes the focus off of gifts and places it on to the wonderment of birth. Each Blessingway is different and has different ceremonies, mine had the bead ceremony. Each woman brings a bead that represents herself, she tells the expecting mother why the bead represents her journey to motherhood or the significance. The honored mother then makes a necklace out of the beads or puts them on display in the birth area to remind her of all the women who made this journey before her and that each one of them is offering prayer and support during labor. I took the bead from my mother and a very special bead from a very good friend and wove them together in a necklace. From that day I have worn the necklace as a reminder that birth is coming and to mentally center myself. The other beads were lovingly placed in a special bowl for the birth environment, I will be able to take them out individually during labor to focus on that person's prayers. 

Since these two celebrations I have been centering myself for birth. I wear the necklace as well as some prayer beads daily. I also took time to create some birth art to use as a focal point in labor. The next thing I will do is have my mother help me paint henna on my belly and hands. Each day that passes I know I am closer to the birth experience I always wanted and I feel the excitement building. In a way this baby has helped me come full circle, my twin daughters made me a mother but through this child I will get a full birth experience. I feel truly blessed and very grateful.

Why I Chose a Midwife

I often have people ask me why I chose a midwife over the traditional choice of an OB. For me I never saw a choice, I always knew I would prefer a midwife. In my area OBs run the show, midwives do not have hospital privileges in my town. The OB offices almost have a post office feel.  You take a number and sit down, then wait, fill out paper work, then wait, pee in a cup, then wait, you are transferred to a sterile room where you sit on paper and wait, wait, wait. The doctor finally arrives and must glance at your chart to remember your name. He talks to you while looking at his notes or writing more notes down, sometimes he takes out a tape recorder and talks about you in the third person. He orders more tests, gives you a lecture on eating healthy and then sends you to the front desk where they take your co-pay and make you another appointment. Sound familiar? 

Before we chose a midwife I had gone through several OB practices and infertility doctors searching for answers but they were all the same. Cold, often uncaring, and following procedure. I felt less human and more robotic, part of a system or well oiled machine. With our twins we had no choice, we were forced into a antibacterial NICU with several doctors and nurses who loved to play the doomsday game while calling me a "hippie" for trying to refuse tests, immunizations or opt for breast milk over formula. I am thankful that my children are alive today, I recognize that they needed medical intervention but I also see that in many ways I was right and they were wrong. I know this because when they finally came home and I took over they thrived and were no longer "medically fragile".

With our last baby, River, and this new rainbow I wanted something different. I wanted fewer tests and more conversation. I wanted compassion, love and empathy. I wanted birth, not a drug induced coma. I wanted a WOMAN who had faced birth head on as a warrior mother. A woman who would look at me in labor and say, "I know..." and I would feel that she really did know. I wanted a person, not a doctor. 

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I do not take anything of this nature lightly, I dove head first into research about midwifes, different certifications, homebirth v. birth center birth and safety. My poor husband was subject to books and articles, movies and Internet print outs. Weeks and weeks of research led me to a list of over 20 questions to ask a midwife. Then I began my phone interviews. I called seven different women, asked them my questions and tried to get a vibe for their personalities. Kelly was one of the last midwives I interviewed. I felt us "click" over the phone and made an appointment to meet her in person. As soon as I met her I felt at ease, she was calm and so at peace. I have often said that I see her as the color yellow, cheery and bright and full of love. 

My appointments were typically an hour long, most of it was conversation. We did the occasional test like checking for protein or sugar in the urine, listening to the heartbeat and the traditional blood test in the first trimester. She encouraged me to research the other tests and was fine with me declining ones I felt were unnecessary like the genetics test. She was open to alternative testing, when it came time for me to test for gestational diabetes she was fine with me testing at home over four days instead of the typical orange drink test. I always felt supported, that she heard me and she was doing what was best for me and baby.

When I hear about the trials some of my pregnant friends are experiencing such as unnecessary tests, trouble declining tests or medications, doctors who are pushy about induction or pitocin or c-sections it makes me truly sad. Our nation is doing our women a disservice by making choices based on liability concerns. When the question becomes, "How can this come back to haunt me?" instead of "Is this in the best interest of the mother and child?" we should be frightened. 

My pregnancy is not an illness, my birth is not an emergency situation. I am young, I have low blood pressure, I do not have gestational diabetes or preeclampsia so why would I go somewhere that sick people go? If you ask me why I chose a midwife the answer is simple, because I trust my body and so does she. 

If any of my readers are thinking about hiring a midwife, here is my list of 21 questions!
1. What services do you offer?
2. What are the prices for your services and how do you work payments?
3. Do you have a billing service to deal with my insurance?
4. How do you make sure that the full placenta is passed to avoid a hemorrhage?
5. What techniques do you recommend in labor to cope with pain management?
6. How do you feel about delayed cord clamping?
7. What are your "red flags" for transferring to the hospital?
8. If we transfer will you come with us and how is that handled?
9. What if our baby is breached?
10. What are your birth stats, how many mothers have transferred, how many deaths (if any), and how many of your clients end up with c-sections?
11. Are you currently certified as a midwife and by what organization?
12. What life saving measures are you currently certified in?
13. Do you participate in formal peer review with other midwives?
14. How many births have you attended?
15. If you are sick or otherwise unavailable during my labor, who will attend to me?
16. How many clients do you take each month?
17. How familiar are you with procedures in the hospital?
18. How long are you willing to wait for a baby in a bad position to change positions before labeling the pregnancy high risk?
19. What percentage of your clients tear and how do you try to prevent tearing?
20. What equipment do you normally bring to the birth (birthing stool? blow-up pool? oxygen? ambu-bag? pitocin shot?)
21. What do you normally do while I am in labor?

A huge thank you to Kelly, our amazing midwife, my ray of sunshine. We cannot wait to have you catch our little rainbow!

Welcome to my new blog! With the arrival of our third baby girl approaching quickly I thought I would begin a new blog so I can post all my new ramblings. So for those of you who are new here is a little about my family and what I tend to blog about.

I am Anya and my husband B and I are high school sweethearts, we married on our four year anniversary. About seven years ago we thought it was a little odd that we were so young, not preventing and never had any pregnancies so we began a long journey of tests to find out if something was wrong. After months the only information we had was that there was something wrong and three different doctors told us not to get our hopes up, it might never happen for us. 

Well I do not take no for an answer! Two years ago we were blessed with amazing twin girls, G&E. We counted ourselves very lucky and thought our family of four was complete. Then when the girls were nine months old we got a positive pregnancy test. Over joyed we began the process of preparing to be a family of five. We never expected to loose baby R, it was late in the pregnancy too. We never did get a reason to why our third little baby died, he just left us and went to God. Following a Native American tradition we named him after something in nature. Many tribes believe that children who die in the womb or very young were never meant to be in our world, they always belonged to nature. So we named him River because we were only a part of his journey. Heartbroken we decided that our family of four was enough and began to rebuild our lives. As we all know God usually has different plans. We received another positive pregnancy test, each month crawled by with our little baby thriving and now we are only a couple weeks away from her due date. As you can see my journey to motherhood was long, at times depressing, but in the end it is such a miracle. No one can look at my family and say that it is not truly amazing!

As a family we live a simple and organic life style. I tend to post on mother related topics or themes of "going green" or living simply in harmony with nature. I am HOH (hard of hearing) and as a family we embrace the Deaf Culture and use ASL. For the last 8 years I have been a teacher and the final three years I have been a Professor of American Sign Language at my local university. 

I hope that in these posts I can find a creative outlet for my writing, help those who would like to live a little more green, or just provide a good laugh to other mamas. I am not perfect, but I can promise that any advice I give in my posts is tested by me first. 

So that's me...off to my first real post!