How We Got Twins to Sleep 12 Hours by 12 Months

Recently my husband and I have received many inquiries on how we got our twins to sleep for twelve hours straight by themselves by a year old. I thought I would share with you the tricks that worked for us but please keep in mind that every child is different and responds to techniques in their own unique way! Also a short disclaimer...we are a little unorthodox!

The following tricks are a combination of different sleep training books I read and some things we made up along the way,

Trick #1 - The Bed Time Routine
Each night about an hour or 90 minutes before we wanted to go to bed we would begin a bed time routine. The house would become nice and quiet, few lights would be on, we would speak in soft voices. We would fill up their bellies with mama milk then I would hop into a warm bath with lavender oil and hum or sing to them softly as they cuddled me skin to skin. To avoid their skin drying out I would only wash them with gentle calendula soup once every four to five days. After the bath daddy would change them into bed time diapers and clothes then swaddle them nice and tight and we would all lie down in bed together. The girls became used to having a bed time routine, as they aged we slowly transitioned the bed time routine to fit their age. At almost two years old the routine now consists of dinner, a diaper change, gathering our loveys (stuffed kitty animals that the girls use as a security object), some cuddles and putting them to bed in their room. Then mama and daddy get grown up adult time downstairs all by ourselves! (with the video monitor on so mama can watch the babies sleep).

Trick #2 - The Family Bed

Daddy and E taking a nap on the couch

I warned you that we are a little unorthodox...we had a family bed until the girls were a year old. We tried having them in a crib in our room and in a side car but the only way we all got a decent nights sleep was cuddling up in the bed together. Part of it was the babies, they wanted to hear us breathing and feel our body warmth. Part of it was the ease of night time feedings, we could roll over and give them a bottle of mama milk then go back to sleep with out having to get out of bed. And part of it was mama paranoia, I know you all understand the impulse to check if the baby is breathing every ten minutes. When your child spent three months in the NICU that impulse is out of control. Add the fact that I am Hard of Hearing so I cannot hear them wake or breath and you have a recipe for disaster. I was up out of the bed checking on them so often that no one got any sleep. Having my babies right next to me helped me to sleep better, I often slept with a hand wrapped around them so I could feel the rise and fall of their bellies. If you worry about the "dangers" of family bed...don't! It is safe and a common practice around the world, just make sure your bed is free of any hazards and close to the ground. Our bed is not on a frame, just the mattress and box spring on the ground.

Trick #3 - Transitioning Out of the Bed or Transferring the Security Object
Almost every time I shared the fact that we practiced family bed with someone who did not they loved to warn me that I will never be able to get my babies out of bed with me. They always knew someone, somewhere that had a five year old still sleeping with his parents. Well I will tell you that it doesn't have to be that way! Our girls let us know when they were ready to move on and we listened. The indicators that they were ready for their own bed were the following, they woke up from OUR movements, they began to sleep crawl, and they searched for their own slice of the bed away from me rather then cuddling. We began the transition of moving them out of our bed by first moving them to a side car next to our bed. We gave them a security object (stuffed kitty cats) to so mama and daddy were no longer the security item but instead we had something portable. Once they were used to that we moved them into their own beds in their room and checked on them as needed. One of the hardest things for me to do was to stop checking on them, B soon realized I needed some peace of mind so he bought me a video monitor. Soon we were all fine on our own.

Trick #4 - Bed Time is NOT Play Time
When our girls woke up in the middle of the night we did not talk to them or mess with them at all. Instead we figured out the reason for the wakefulness, a dirty diaper, a swaddle blanket undone, or hunger. We fixed the problem with no talking just gentle hands and a kiss then went back to sleep. If they woke to play and nothing else we did not respond but instead wrapped them up tighter and cuddled them until they went back to sleep. They soon learned that night time was for sleeping. If they woke up when the sun was up then mama and daddy were fair game, even if that was at 6am but before the sun was sleep time.

Trick #5 - Don't Rock the Boat
If baby falls asleep downstairs in the bouncy chair by God do not wake up baby! We would carry the bouncy chair up stairs and place it beside our bed then when baby woke up for a feeding or diaper change we would change her for the night and cuddle her up into bed with us. This happened often, I would say easily two nights a week each child, if not both would fall asleep on their own downstairs with us and for that night that child would skip the routine.

As I said before, each child responds in their own unique way to techniques so some of these may not work for your child's personality. For our very high needs preemie babies these tricks helped us to have twelve full hours of sleep every-single-night. Our children go down to bed every night around seven and wake on their own around seven in the morning. They also have an afternoon routine with lunch time that leads to a one hour nap in the middle of the day. With the new child we will do the same routine and I am sure that in her own special way she will let us know what we need to adapt to her style. Hopefully some of these tricks help you to get your child sleeping 12 hours by 12 months!